A Suburban Gothic Holiday

And a few gifts from the mall.

Dec 25, 2023

Christmas was my favorite time to go to the mall as a kid in the early 2000s. Now instead of going to the mall, we hang out on the internet. In the spirit of that, here’s a chronically online gift guide — or, rather, a guide filled with gifts. Some of my favorite things to watch, shop, read and generally look at online.

If you’re like me, you’re spending today on the couch in satin PJs, watching movies and making regular trips to the kitchen for little treats. Here’s another, from me to you, for your Christmas Day lounging.

So, take a walk with me through my virtual mall, decked in giant ornaments and Santa stations, steeped in that buttery, Auntie Anne’s smell and the tinny sound of Mariah Carey over the mall speakers.

Videos

I spend 99 percent of my day watching YouTube (the other one percent I’m asleep). I love a good video essay and some of my favorite creators continue to be Broey Deschanel (particularly her indie sleaze, Sofia Coppola and Abject Women videos), biz (like the Midnight Mass video that always makes me cry), ContraPoints (including her massive JK R*wling video), and Maggie Mae Fish (The Myth of Auteur Theory and the Z*ch Snyd*r series are some of my favorites).

I watch a lot of Mike’s Mic (because I have taste). And Jenny Nicholson’s The Vampire Diaries video, of course, belongs in the Criterion Collection; but I also love her three-hour video about the Evermore theme park.

Speaking of Jenny Nicolson, I enjoy a good deep dive into an old show, like Degrassi or Teen Wolf or Jersey Shore. For movie or TV reviews, I’ll tune into Dead Meat, Friendly Space Ninja and Karsten Runquist, among others.

And then a list just for lols: Chris James, nicksaysboo, ZZAVID, Alanda Parker, Petty Pumpkins, ur internet mom ash, uncarley, Kurtis Conner, Drew Gooden, Danny Gonzalez, Nick DiRamio, Demon Trash.

Films

I always watch the classics, natch. The Family Stone. Black Christmas (1974 and 2006). Carol. How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

But, a few other movies that make their way into the rotation around Christmas and New Year’s include: The Last Days of Disco, Mona Lisa Smile, Less Than Zero, Funny Face and Frances Ha.

Gifts

The time to buy gifts is technically over, but here are a few suggestions for any après-Christmas shopping. This is essentially a list of things I didn’t get that I’ll probably end up buying myself.

Start with the one thing on every girl’s list this year — mine included: the Gumamina swans.

I’ve been circling some vintage French ice cream dishes for a while on Etsy.

The Pampshade croissant light (or the baguette model) has been at the top of my list for years now. Why I haven’t already ordered one remains a mystery even to me.

Other gifts include a Criterion subscription, the HANRO Cotton Seamless V-neck Camisole Nicole Kidman wears in Eyes Wide Shut, a good set of martini glasses, a robe from ByGeorge and Sofia Coppola’s Archive.

Substacks

Now here’s where I get to shamelessly plug some of my friends. Luckily, most of my friends are insanely talented so I’m not a total sell-out. Indulge me.

Head over to Dessert Wine for all things culture, fashion, and, of course, wine. To paraphrase Rachel Sennott in Bodies Bodies Bodies, it’s like hanging out with your smartest & chicest friend.

Then, check out status update — it's giving intimate, poetic musings on finding beauty in the banal; it’s giving cataloging modern ephemera through the lens of a singular voice; it’s giving Maggie Nelson meets Julia Fox type shit.

I met Becky, the author of Beckcawhaswrites, at a writing workshop in Paris this summer and I think this newsletter is the Platonic ideal of a Substack. Which is to say, it’s exactly what this platform should be used for, in my opinion. Which is to say, as Becky writes in the About section, “I’m hoping that this Substack will become another type of creative outlet for me; less trauma and more fluff…” Yes, please.

Other newsletters I highly recommend include From the Desk of Marlowe Granados, Boy Movies, David and Write What.

Merry and Happy to all — exciting things to come in the new year ✨🥀🦢🖤